Crossdressing, Transgender & Allies Discussion: New Look, Same Dysphoria
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I mean people aren't really aware of whats going on so you'll need to explain things to them. You cant just write them off for being an asshole for 'misgendering' you or saying something you didnt want to hear because they dont know what you want to be called
My tax refund finally came in. I wanted to make the appointment for HRT with it but now it seems like my mind is finding any sort of reason to not make the appointment. Kinda like a
Sort of feeling. Right now my weight seems to be my biggest fear.
Well I'm more talking about people who make assumptions, pressing those assumptions as fact, and then not bothering to ask your preference either way.
Rant mode again
Got an email back from that clinic telling me to just give them a call, which isn't what I wanted to do. I hate talking on the phone and it's super hard for me to talk about my feelings and shit out loud. Not only that, but if I were to talk to someone through emails, I could just hold a conversation while I'm on break at work.
That WAS my plan, but now it's all gone to shit. I woke up today only to find out our cellphones have been shut off. My mom's bf wasn't able to make last month's payment when it was due, so he had it extended and was going to pay for it today. However, some loan company or whatever took about 80% of his check and he wasn't able to make the payment today (he's really bad at holding onto money btw). Now he owes last month's payment and this month's payment in full, which from what I was told was close to $1,000. It doesn't help that one guy on our payment plan never pays his share on time (or at all). So now I have no way of using my phone at work, and I have to wait until friday to call the clinic up and try and set something up.
Also if the cellphone bill doesn't get paid soon it'll probably cost an extra $300 to re-activate them. Why the fuck does something so essential in life cost so fucking much?
cute girls thread
So the self-test blood kit is currently sitting in a Royal Mail depot with my blood in it. Should be 2-3 weeks until I can start HRT
Was much easier and straightforward than I thought it would be, although I hope I didn't fuck up the samples because I can't afford another £250.
There are men and enbies here too.
Everyone is cute here (except me but people let me stay anyway so its cool)!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa What the fuck these stretchmarks keep showing up on me and more keep adding and I'm not sure if it's good because it's in all the feminine places or not.
Maybe I'm just fat
I don't think saying something about the "mod culture" is exactly fair either, since you're still lumping a LOT of people together who are very sympathetic. I know I'm a little late on this train.
Had an unusually vivid and coherent dream this morning where I almost got SRS done at Target
Things of note (don't worry, the details are basically SFW):
It would've cost only $200
The SRS came bundled with two expansion packs for The Sims 2 (???)
The surgeon was dressed in a standard target employee uniform but had a blue surgical mask on
I can still remember almost exactly what he looked like
The operating table was made of the same kind of grey and red plastic they use for their shopping carts, with the same rounded edges and everything
The operating table was also situated right by the checkout lanes, just out in the open like that where everyone could see
At some point I realized, hey, what the fuck, why am I getting my SRS done by a random Target employee with a scalpel?
Furthermore, why am I getting it done right now? I need at least a couple months to mentally prepare for this
When I protested to the surgeon and told him I wanted to get the procedure delayed, he started reading my vitals and making fun of them
It was all just weird nonsense like, "Hehe, your dermal levels are so high, it's like you don't even have any skin," and, "Look at all this garbage, we're gonna have to fill your lungs full of fluid and drain them out to get you clean at this rate."
At that point I went to another employee, who was able to get it delayed for me
I can only imagine how this would go in real life.
>The Sims 2 expansion packs immediately vanish off of all store shelves and ebay listings
I think it's fascinating how our dreams reflect our own thoughts, fears, and insecurities in a visual way since that's essentially the only way we can remember concepts.
I always get those "doing a completely mundane thing except I'm doing them as a girl" dreams that feel totally normal and then when I awake from them I feel like I've lost something
I only remember one gender-related dream but it fucked me up bad.
this probably means I'm trans. If I could stop being in denial that would be great
When I started transitioning, I had a whole set of dreams of going through familiar situations in my past, but as the woman I am/hoped to be at the time! Made me feel unstoppable when I woke up.
Though maybe a month ago I had a few short dreams where I ended up meeting someone who I knew from primary through secondary school, and they were exceedingly negative about my transition. Literally the only person that I've had say that kind of stuff to me, and they weren't even real!
I legit woke up with an after image of a rainbow and cartoon sparkles over it.
Holy shit, that was surreal.
I was in denial for a while. But really, I just think if you have a lot of feelings that you'd be happier on HRT then you should do it. You aren't invalidating anyone or joining some super secret club that has stringent requirements and will judge you if you don't meet them. Just do what you think would make you happier, it's your body. There is no set standard or anything you have to follow.
I keep having dreams about being in normal social situations with my family and then my breasts start growing at a noticeable pace and I'm frantically struggling as hard as possible to keep them hidden as it becomes increasingly impossible
Not fun, and I feel like it's a much faster version of my current reality
cw - self harm, dysphoria, tmi, bathroom stuff
i was in such a rush to go to the toilet earlier today i completely forgot to sit down and now i'm having the strongest urge since 2010 to self harm. (i'm not going to though so dw.)
i haven't peed standing up in like 4 years and for GOOD REASON and this whole ordeal left me feeling sick and destroyed my libido.
i haven't even started HRT and i want SRsright now.
Oddly enough, I actually only rarely get dreams related to gender or transitioning. I'd expect it to happen more often considering how much time I spend thinking about it when I'm awake.
When I do get gender-related dreams, a lot of times they're just of me going to the women's restroom and feeling super anxious about getting clocked
The best part of realizing I'm in a dream is that I instantly go from whatever I currently am/doing into a huge monster and going godzilla on everything in the vicinity while looking super adorable.
Most of my dreams just leave me feeling sad and unfulfilled after waking up. Funnily enough in a recent dream i was finally a girl, unlike 90% of my dreams.
One dream that left me particularly fucked up was when I dreamt that I was an old man, in a hospital bed. I listened to doctors telling me that I was bleeding out or something because of blood thinners, and there was nothing that could be done. I just laid there until I died, and woke up. Was fucked up for the whole next day.
I once had a dream where I was walking on a road, when I passed two kids they tried to insult me by calling me a lesbian
Your joke backfired, kids-from-my-dream, by calling me a lesbian you only improved my mood
My dreams are usually tied to passing to other people and it usually doesn't make much sense.
I kinda wish I could remember my dreams. Only thing I remember to do at near to no energy to to correct my hair so it doesn't get fucked up.
i still have vivid memories of a dream I had when I was like 7/8
basically I was given a drink that gave you what you really wanted and I turned into a girl I was really confused and never questioned it until I had my first breakdown at 16
My dreams are normally abstract collections of vaguely-related scenes (or at least, their progression feels entirely logical at the time), and often feature settings or characters from the Simpsons, for some bizarre reason. I've always just been 'me' in them and I'm normally an observer, the last time I had a dream where something actually happened was when I was in primary school.
I wish I had cool or exciting or validating dreams tbh, but they're all just so boring.
my dreams are basically storytelling
has a beginning and it usually dies out in the middle/end.
-dangan ronpa but on a cruise ship
-weird versions of disney world
in all of them im either genderless or a girl so wop
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