20 January 2015, 5PM
Of all the things I didn't expect to happen to Rust, the creation of a tabloid paper that treats everything with 100% sincerity was pretty high up there. I've never been so pleased to be confounded. The Rust Times is a newspaper set deep within the fiction of Rust. What it lacks in grammar, it makes up with headlines like: "Paint The Town Rad", and "Fisting Film Found At Facepunch Studios". It's willingly kayfdabe, so bugs bring about "product recalls", and a line of clothing designed by Concept Artist Megan Tupper was declared "Tupperwear". I wish I'd thought of that. I really do.
As someone who appreciates a good pun, I am impressed and appalled by the torturous language gymnastics applied to Rust, and can only wonder the frightening mobius strip of linguistics it'll take to report on this report. But I can't wait to find out.
In the semi-official Rust lore that exists in my brain (and the secret Lore Trello), the map below is generated by implants in the Newman's brains. As they roam the island, what they see is uploaded to ISS. The dead station, half-destroyed by a zombie Sandra Bullock, generates the image and sends it to the planet Oxide, where Rust is the #1 TV show. What I'm saying is that you're all stars.
How it really works is more prosaic: any server running the Oxide 2 Modding API can generate an image of their world with this map plug-in. You can stare at the flattened peaks and valleys of your map seed, and even add features like rad zones and monuments. Sadly, player buildings are not supported. If you want players to know what they're getting into when they join the map, you can add it to your website like Rustified does.
But there's an even easier way to generate a map. Fansite PlayrustHQ has set it up so you can enter the seed and size of the world into their site, and it'll generate a map. The map above was made using their site with the seed 5138008, which is officially the world's funniest number.
Speaking of Rust lore, I enjoyed reading moses_the_red's disturbingly plausible take on the history of the Rust island on Reddit, not least for "Rehabilitation through Unsupervised Survival Treatment". I've been asked to come up with the story for another Facepunch game, so I know what it's like to have to fill in the gaps. This is a fine job of retrofitting story into mechanics.
The worst criminals however, those that cannot participate in such activities continue to rot away in cells. It is recognized that there are those that cannot be rehabilitated without undue danger to society, but human rights groups remain firm in their belief that the separation from nature for these people is not just inhumane, its a cruel and unusual form of punishment.
Guess where they ended up?
The internet's unknowingest Youtuber has returned. The Legend of FastDonkeyNads is this: he was unwittingly recorded by a friend of his, and as his videos became popular on the internet, he became a star. It took six episodes before he was told. Is it a trick that can be pulled off again? Does it really matter? The guy's a good talker, and the editing is strange and wonderful. Here's the first chapter.
The rest have been dumped in this Facepunch thread, so if you have access you'll be able to carry on watching. They're unlisted on Youtube for now, so I hope in posting this it encourages them to be unlocked on the channel. They deserve a wider audience.
I like it when people draw my attention to their work, especially if it's in an easily embeddable format. That's what The Infused did, tempting me to stare at one of his builds on Youtube by tweeting at me. Joyously, he had two videos. The first was showing off "Castle Infused", a twin-turretted castle that looks like the blueprints were air-dropped in from Westeros. I love seeing the building resources being turned into fortresses. The music is damn appropriate, too.
But even better, he recorded the entire construction effort. The 5hr build time was compressed into a relatively swift 15 minute time-lapse. You won't quite be able to see how it's done in this video, but you do get some idea at the scale of the project.
Thank heavens for Twitter.
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